Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
