It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
