Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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