I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So much rum. So many feels.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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