wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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