OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
