shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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