Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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