Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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