I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
