Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Screwed.edu
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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