For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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