he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
