this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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