My room smells like vodka and shame
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
