Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
two words...techno handjob
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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