hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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