I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
