The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize