Jerry, you need to find god
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
