absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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