McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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