i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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