I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
