well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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