my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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