Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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