She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
