Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
