Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i've created a new STD.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
