Got a toothbrush?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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