ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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