well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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