maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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