I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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