I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I am mentally ready for anal.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
