her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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