I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He better not be in your backpack
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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