Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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