ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
