At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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