i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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