school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
