so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
