false alarm. still invincible.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
