u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
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whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I did not marry a roomba.
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