There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
