He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
