I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
