Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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