On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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