At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
