Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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