Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
