I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
bring money and cleavage
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
