Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize