the condom got lost in my hair
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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