im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
